Nabbed at Customs

Nabbed at Customs
By PHILIP CRAWFORD
PARIS — Just when you think that long-strained French-American relations might be improving, something
happens to show that we’ve got a long way to go. And who would have thought that the humble French foodstuff
known as saucisson was all that was needed to drive the point home?
Commentaire [GEA1]: Que les
relations franco-américaines tendues
depuis longtemps- sont peut-être en train
de s’améliorer
Commentaire [GEA2]: On en est
encore loin…
Commentaire [GEA3]: Le produit
alimentaire modeste qu’est le saucisson
Commentaire [GEA4]: Juste ce qu’il
fallait pour le confirmer ( que les relations
… ne s’améliorent pas !)
For the uninitiated, saucisson is one of the stars of the fabled French apéritif. That’s the first act of any selfrespecting Parisian dinner party at which people sit around chatting, swilling Champagne, and eyeing each others’
spouses. If you’re lucky, you might be served bits of foie gras on toast or warm little squares of croque monsieur.
And there is often some sliced saucisson, a tubular piece of pork embedded with globs of fat that hits the spot with
ice-cold bubbly.
Commentaire [GEA5]: Fameux,
mythique !
Commentaire [GEA6]: N’importe quel
dîner parisien respectable
Commentaire [GEA7]: bavardant
Commentaire [GEA8]: buvant coupe
sur coupe de champagne
Commentaire [GEA9]: ‘reluquant’..
les femmes de l’un et l’autre
Commentaire [GEA10]: tranché
Commentaire [GEA11]: contenant
des bouts de gras
Commentaire [GEA12]: qui va très
bien avec le ‘mousseux’ glacé
Small wonder, then, that when planning a recent trip to the states to visit my mother, I thought I might bring her a
saucission as a gift. I knew that she and my stepfather would love the stuff. As for me, like one of Pavlov’s dogs,
every time I sense the aroma of a saucisson, I seem to hear festive Champagne corks popping. I envisioned a good
two-hour apéritif full of laughs and familial good cheer upon arriving.
Commentaire [GEA13]: Pas étonnant
donc que
Commentaire [GEA14]:
Commentaire [GEA15R14]: Comme
cadeau
Commentaire [GEA16]: Beau-père
Commentaire [GEA17]: Le machin, la
chose
Commentaire [GEA18]: J’ai
l’impression d’entendre les bouchons de
champagne sauter
Commentaire [GEA19]: Bonne gaité
familiale
Commentaire [GEA20]: crainte
Commentaire [GEA21]: se rappeler
But the night before the trip, a feeling of dread arrived. It came on when I recalled that good ol' US of A customs
declaration form — the one in which they ask if you’re bringing any meats or other contraband (such as live
poultry or cattle) into the country.
Commentaire [GEA22]:
(certainement un jeu de mot sur US (=
habitude…) et US (America) et A !(USA)=>
cette bonne vieille coutume de remplir le
formulaire A de déclaration à la douane
( témoigne de la part de l’auteur d’une
bonne connaissance du français (ou latin !)
car US n’existe pas en anglais)
Commentaire [GEA23]: Comme par
ex de la volaille ou du bétail ( !) vivant
Worse, I remembered that I was flying into Houston — where the airport is named after someone called Bush —
the closest hub to the burg where my mother lives. That would be Beaumont, Texas, perhaps best known for being
the home town of Debra Jo Fondren, Hugh Hefner’s 1978 Playmate of the Year, she of the Rapunzel-esque tresses
that mesmerized a generation of young men. There may once have been some oil wells there too.
Commentaire [GEA24]: … porte le
nom d’un certain… BUSH
Commentaire [GEA25]: L’aéroport
(central/ hub= moyeu) le plus proche du
village
Commentaire [GEA26]: Hugh Hefner
is the founder of PLAYBOY, the magazine
that featured a nude girl in every issue
Commentaire [GEA27]: Dans le conte
de Grimm, Rapunzel laisse tomber ses
cheveux tressés du haut de sa tour pour
que son amoureux la rejoigne !
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapunzel
Commentaire [GEA28]: Fascina,
ensorcela
Commentaire [GEA29]: Des puits de
pétrole
As I packed the saucisson, I somehow knew that any customs officer working in an airport named Bush wouldn’t
take too kindly to being lied to about the contents of my luggage. I could imagine a “you-in-a-heap-a-trouble-boy”
scene at passport control, being cuffed and led to a prison cell where my only comfort would be a chicken-fried
steak once a year on my birthday.
Just before landing, I filled out the customs form. Any meats? No sir, I lied. Once we landed and I retrieved my
luggage, I had to face the music.
Commentaire [GEA30]: Je me
doutais bien que tout douanier portant le
nom de Bush ( !) ne (verrait pas d’un bon
œil) ne serait pas très heureux que je lu i
raconte des mensonges sur le contenu de
mes bagages
Commentaire [GEA31]: Une scène du
genre « vous vous êtes mis dans de beaux
draps, jeune homme ! »
Commentaire [GEA32]: Hand-cuffed>
menotté
Commentaire [GEA33]: Dès que j’eus
atterri et récupéré mes bagages
Commentaire [GEA34]: Affronter ‘la
musique’
“So,” said the customs officer amiably. “Whud’ja buy overseas that you’re bringin’ in?”
Commentaire [GEA35]: Qu’est ce que
vous avez acheté à l’étranger.. ?
“Just two bottles of Champagne that I bought in duty-free,” I said.
“That’s all?”
“Yes.”
A too-long pause.
“You sure?” A no-nonsense look.
“Oh, uh, almost forgot. I think I brought a sausage for my mother. It’s her favorite.”
“Is it pork?”
“No, beef.” Lying again.
Commentaire [GEA36]: Le regard
sévère de quelqu’un à qui ‘on ne la fait
pas’,
The officer wrote a huge scarlet “A” on my declaration form. “You’ll have to see the “Ag” guys, he said.
In an adjacent room, an agricultural customs officer made me open my suitcase. I dug in and unearthed the
treasure, slowly unfolding the wax paper. What a gorgeous saucisson it was. There went the Champagne corks.
“Where’d you buy this? the officer asked.
“France,” I said.
“Well, meat from that country is not seen as very safe. You can’t bring it in.”
Commentaire [GEA37]: Une énorme
lettre A écarlate (Ca ne vous rappelle
rien ? =>La lettre écarlate rouge était
‘inscrite’ (brodée) sur la robe des femmes
A-dultères à l’époque du puritanisme pur
et dur de la colonisation américaine. Livre
de N. Hawthorne )
Ici, on comprend le symbole de la
stigmatisation…
Commentaire [GEA38]: AG for
Agricultural…
Commentaire [GEA39]: (to dig,
dug,dug) j’ai fouillé au fond
Commentaire [GEA40]: , Je dénichai
(déterrai !) le trésor, dépliant lentement
le papier gras.. Quel beau saucisson !
Commentaire [GEA41]: C’est alors
qu’ont sauté (sont partis… disparus) les
bouchons de champagne… (‘Finis les
bouchons de champagne etc… !’)
That country?
Commentaire [GEA42]: N’est pas
considérée ‘sûre’
I counterpunched quickly: “Americans buy all sorts of food products from France,” I said. “Cheese, wine,
Commentaire [GEA43]: Je contreattaquai
everything. No one is going to eat this but me and my family. How can it hurt anyone?” The officer stood stone
faced. Time to roll out the heavy artillery. “My mother is 81 years old. Are you actually going to deprive her of
something that would truly brighten her day?”
Looking me straight in the eye, the officer said “Yep.” Then, for good measure: “I don’t make the laws.”
Commentaire [GEA44]: Personne
d’autre que moi…
Commentaire [GEA45]: De marbre
Commentaire [GEA46]: Le moment
était venu de sortir la grosse artillerie.. (les
violons en fait !)
Commentaire [GEA47]: Allez vous
vraiment la priver de quelque chose qui
‘illuminerait’ sa journée ?
Commentaire [GEA48]: poubelle
He took that wonderful work of l’art de la charcuterie and threw it into a garbage can just behind him. A large
sign on the wall warned that aggression against customs officers was a Texas-sized heap of trouble. I took a deep
breath and walked away.
I’m not sure what Alexis de Tocqueville would have thought about this little episode. Or whether the customs guy
actually took the saucisson home that night, rinsed it off, and ate it with some freedom fries. But there’s no doubt
that France and America are still an ocean apart on the sensibilities of daily life.
And the next time I bring a saucisson into Texas — and I will, I’m determined — I’ll just keep quiet about what’s in
my suitcase and take my chances. By the way, I like my chicken-fried steak well done.
Philip Crawford, a former journalist, works for a management consulting firm in Paris.
Commentaire [GEA49]: une source
énorme (à l’échelle du Texas…) d’ennuis
Commentaire [GEA50]: il a écrit ‘De
la démocratie en Amérique’… ! (18351840) une analyse de la jeune république
américaine…
Commentaire [GEA51]: je ne suis pas
sûr que…
Commentaire [GEA52]: Lors du ‘froid’
entre les USA et la France à cause du refus
de cette dernière d’intervenir en Irak, le s
French fries américaines (= chips en
anglais) avaient été débaptisées et
rebaptisées ‘Freedom fries’ : tout ce qui
était français , était à l’index…
Commentaire [GEA53]: A des milliers
de lieues de distance/ … ont une approche
très différente en ce qui concerne les
sensibilités ? subtilités ? de la vie
quotidienne
Commentaire [GEA54]: Tenter le
coup…
Commentaire [GEA55]: Oh, au fait…
Commentaire [GEA56]: J’aime mon
blanc de poulet bien cuit… (cf plus haut sa...